"...Consider it all joy...." REALLY?

In the past two weeks, I have been verbally beaten up ("reviled" as the Bible calls it), by two different people...people I love, people who I believe love(d) me very much, for two very different reasons.  (You are thinking: "wow. she has been busy!")
Tonight, well, no, last night now, was the most recent beating. Though I am without physical marks, I am bruised, and I am in emotional pain.  Worst of all, there is absolutely nothing I can say or do, to change the person's mind.  NOTHING.  I am powerless.  I am a peacemaker.  I hate to be powerless.  I am so exasperated that, though I am completely exhausted from chronic physical pain and acute bawling, I cannot go to sleep.  I must work this through, at least in my own attitude and will, before I close my eyes. So, I have parked myself here, before a blank page.


So I thought of the verses in Matthew and James, where Jesus speaks to His followers.  (Perhaps I should listen...)  
Matthew 5:11
 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
James 1:² Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various  trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. ⁴ And let  endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
"Consider it all joy," and, "Blessed are you..." (Right.)


REALLY? Are You kidding me?


This person has accused me of things I have not done.  He has spoken rashly about things he is not privy to.  He has spoken untruths and challenged me to prove he is wrong.  I spent my Friday night crying.  Well, crying, and really praying.  And instead of wasting a lot of energy trying to argue, or prove my truthfulness, I knelt to pray.  (Just so you get the significance, I never do that.  I mean I do pray, but  usually after I've done a lot of fussing and fuming and proving and so on, ad nauseam.)  
This is huge.


I don't know what will happen.  It is not up to me.  I am responsible for myself alone, before God.  (That's plenty.)  I am free in Jesus to sit quietly, and wait, while the Holy Spirit does His lovely work in me, and my accusers.  I have asked Him to convict me where I have said or done something to offend these ones I love.  Beyond that, I must wait, and consider it all joy.  I choose to believe I am blessed in this dark passage.
I don't know the "all" part of joy yet, but I do already feel strangely peaceful, and yes, quietly joyful that this tearful time has brought me to my knees before the One who knows all the truth there is.
I can trust Someone like that.  
I can go to bed now and sleep...


Blowing kisses to Heaven,
Debbie